Wedding trends. I'm not a fan.
Wedding trends are all over in January. You can't pick up a bridal magazine, follow a wedding industry business Instagram account or a wedding twitter account without seeing them. The big movers and shakers in the industry are all over them. Wedding dresses, wedding venues, wedding decor, and on it goes. For instance, let’s take the Independent News Papers spin on this.
Now, in principle there is a lot in there I love. Simple, practical wedding dresses with Pockets - oh how my heart sings. Love, love, love. But here in lies the problem. The 'should's' take precident over the 'I'd love's'.
'Under Pressure' (it's OK if you now have a head full of Queen. It stops after a day or two - I promise )
I have worked with many brides. Did they all want practical wedding dresses with pockets? Hell no. Did they all look beautiful non the less – hell yes! Did all the couples I worked with want to be married in a field - hell no! It was THEIR wedding and not mine or the wedding of a wedding industry mover and shaker. How many brides or grooms reject the wedding outfit of their choice because it’s not ‘bang on trend’ ? It’s a pressure. It marginalises individuality and choice. It is reductionist. Bravo I say to all those couples who see past the trend and make choices to reflect them as individuals. Lets be honest. We are not all that brave though are we. Peer pressure is something that starts in our formative years and stays with us through life. The politics of weddings can soon consume your special day! Trying to Stay on trend is just one element of wedding stress.
Inspiration, inspiration, inspiration:
But hang on there. It's not all bad. Oh no. The good news is this. Let's simply turn it on it's head and start talking about inspiration not trends. "But it's only a word" I hear you say! It is. The same article substituting 'inspiration' for 'trend' becomes much less pressured. It invites you to consider an offering, an idea, something you may never have thought of or realised was possible rather than suggesting you 'should' because everybodyelse is. Words have power and meaning. One word can significantly change how we respond, feel and react to something. When I work using my systemic family therapy training, we put great emphasis on words and their meaning. Indeed, as a celebrant, working with you to create your unique ceremony I spend hours listening to your story and using the right words to bring it alive, making sure it has real meaning for you. It is nobody elses ceremony. It is not a template. What ever your ceremony a wedding, a naming ceremony, a renewal of vows or a funeral, it is YOUR ceremony and your story. Created with you for you.
Freedom! (Ok, so now it's WHAM not Queen. Sorry)
You are free to be inspired and not marginallised by trends. Go forth and be TRUE TO YOU. You are FABULOUS. #yourdayyourway.
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